Memories
Another memory .... Dylan was here last weekend and we gave him the bad news about Diojie. He has cancer and will be in heaven with you soon. Dylan reminded us of when we first brought Diojie home. Remember you and Dylan had bunk beds? Diojie was only 7 weeks old, missing his mom and downstairs barking and crying. I could hear him from my room.... then all the sudden it got quiet. I thought he finally went to sleep with the alarm clock and stuffed animal we put by him. But in the morning we realized Dylan had went and got him, brought him upstairs to the room you two shared and he was sleeping very happily with you guys. After that he slept pretty good every night in your room. You all were so little, you were only 5 years old and Dylan was only 6 .... Diojie weighed like 12 pounds compared to his now 104 pounds. I would give anything to go back to those days and start again. Harley came some years later. You said you couldn't stand the dog cause he was so spastic, but you have always been his favorite person. He followed you everywhere and when you think nobody was watching we seen you petting and playing with him. No wonder huh? He still waits by the door for you to come home like he always did when you were out. I don't think he will ever quit "waiting" for you. He is grieving like the rest of us, only I can't make him understand what's happened. Diojie will be happy with you again in the next few weeks. But Harley and the rest of us will be in torment until its our turn to go be with you both again. I miss you so much and I love you.
I wasn't prepared for how difficult this weekend would be, it hit me today unexpectedly. It isn't about flowers, chocolates or card that you might bring me for Mothers Day ....it was never about that. I can picture you waking up around noon and coming downstairs and giving me your sleepy crooked smile and saying "Happy Mothers Day Mom" and giving me a hug. It's the hug - it was always the only thing I wanted and It meant more than anything. Today I realized that I will never get that from you ever again. And it hurts so bad. I miss you son.
Well, its three months today and it's still not any easier. The more that I learn about what happened the more it hurts. This is all so unnecessary and so unfair to everyone ... especially you. Keep watching down here son, there are still people taking chances with their lives. They just don't get how fragile life is and it can be taken away with one little mistake. I love you and miss you.
Dude i cant believe your gone it's so hard to believe its seems like yesterday we were smokin a fat ass blunt together. i wish i could have gone up to your grave and smoked a blunt for you on 420 but you know i had to star CADS that day it sucks ass. every time i drive by your house it makes me so sad, but i know your in a better place and i will see you one day so you better have a blunt rolled when i get there. love you man peace!
I still miss you terribly. Today has been really tough. I've had to make some decisions - I know you ... and I think I have made the choices you would want me to, but it still doesn't feel right. I don't think anything will ever feel "right" again. You should be here to do this, but know what I have to do and your with me. I am spending time this week adding more pictures and albums to your site so that I always have them in one place to go back to. Your baby pics and growing up... it's gonna be a work in progress but I will get it all on here. And writing your Life Story is harder than I expected, I don't have the ability to put it all into words. If the whole world knew you personally, could see and talk to you, know everything that I know about you, it still wouldn't be enough. They would still never understand how much I love you and how special you really are.
Share your Memories
