I miss you so much words cannot describe it. Love you son!
What would you like the judge to know about you and the impact of this crime?
Zach has always been a strong and beautiful person both inside and out. He’s always been involved in something, taekwondo, body building, physical fitness. He had been on the Pleasant Valley Wrestling team in high school until he graduated. He has many medals and certificates of achievement. He had many other interests, he was proud of his Native American heritage and learning to dance in the Powwows in traditional style. Right before his death he was working with an Army recruiter and had not quite decided what he wanted to do in the Army but wanted to eventually pursue a career in Culinary Arts. He was working at the Davenport Country Club in the kitchen to gain some experience. Even though he was fairly new to the work force he was a hard worker, dedicated, and determined. Zach was also very important in his large circle of friends. One or more of his friends were always at our house, the phone was always ringing. He is remembered as being the one you could talk to, the one that was always there for you no matter what. He was important in our neighborhood, always there to help anyone who needed it. In his short life he has made a huge impact, there were close to 300 people at his funeral. His friends started a memorial website for him and it has been visited over 11,000 times now. Even though the majority of those visits were most likely me, his death has affected many people. I have always been very proud of my son for the person he was, he was my pride and joy, and I love him more than life. I just hope and pray I told him that often enough.
February 7th 2009 was the day my life ended as I knew it. It was a Saturday morning and I was home getting ready to paint my kitchen and the phone rang. When I answered I was informed that Zach was blue and he could not be woken… he had spent the night at a friend’s house. Panic immediately set in and I screamed at his friend to call 911. My husband and I rushed over to the home, I prayed all the way there that he was okay. Once we got there I ran down the stairs to where Zach was laying. I climbed on the bed while I was yelling for him to wake up. His eyes were closed and I thought he was sleeping. When I touched his body he was very cold. I instantly knew he was gone and remember screaming. Not wanting to believe it I tried to move his hands away from his face to see if he was breathing. But he was stiff and I couldn’t move them with any amount of strength. I was begging him to wake up over and over. I held him and cried for what seemed like hours. I remember some time later the paramedics arriving and physically lifting me off of my son and setting me on the floor. I was moved to another room where officers asked me questions; I don’t remember what the questions were. I remember the people who live in the house being very unconcerned, detached, and uninterested in what was going on. I think they offered me a tissue but they never said a word to me. It was surreal; I remember asking myself why I was the only one upset and really questioning whether I was dreaming or not.
The horror of this day replays over and over in my head like a movie that I can’t shut off. It’s the last thing I think about before trying to sleep and it’s the first thing on my mind every morning. Even now it still doesn’t seem real but yet I know it is. I never imagined having to go through this with any of my children. He was 18, strong, healthy and had the whole world ahead of him and all the sudden I am planning his funeral. Having to go to the funeral home and pick a color for his coffin, plan the service and write the obituary was extremely hard to get through. Then I had to decide what Zach would wear for the rest of eternity… it’s something nobody should ever have to decide for their child. The day of the funeral I almost passed out seeing my son laying in that coffin. That moment will forever be burned in my memories.
Zachary's death has impacted me and my family in so many different ways it would be impossible to describe them all. I lost my mom and dad 13 days apart just 6 months before Zach’s death. While I love and miss them terribly it doesn’t compare to losing my son. The pain of losing a child goes much deeper. Zach still lived at home and my husband and I were immediately thrust into a house with no children. Nothing feels right, everything is abnormally quiet and dark. Being in our house for many years, every corner holds a memory. At times it just doesn’t seem possible that he is not coming home. Zach’s room is still the same, if I look through the door as I pass, I can still imagine him sleeping on his bed, playing video games or talking on the phone. I can still hear his voice in my mind. His clothes are still in his dresser, his belongings are where they should be. Everywhere I turn there is something that reminds me of him, this makes life a constant struggle.
Zach was showing obvious signs of overdose late the night before he died and there were plenty of people around to notice, but nobody did anything. He told people he couldn’t see, he couldn’t see his hands in front of his face, his stomach hurt so badly he couldn’t get up out of bed. He was in pain, having trouble breathing and most likely very scared. He needed help and didn’t get it. He was just a kid, my only son and nobody let me know he needed me and medical attention. If they would have just called me….It’s pure torture to know your child died like this.
My thoughts are now consumed with Zach and with death, I’m terrified that something might happen to the rest of my family, I almost feel like it’s inevitable. It will happen when I least expect it. I don’t enjoy doing the things I used to do, I don’t enjoy doing anything. I don’t feel good physically. I don’t like myself anymore, my moods and personality have changed. My husband and I have both been put on anti-depressants and anxiety medication. I often tell myself tomorrow I will feel better, but I never do. We all have trouble sleeping and nightmares quite often. I dream about Zach and in every dream he is already dead. His death has affected my job to the point where I am not able to concentrate on my work, miss work frequently, and I know I am just going through the motions to get through the day. This isn’t me but I don’t feel like anything will ever be normal again.
Please describe below how members of your family have been affected by this crime?
My daughter Kiesha, has had a heart condition for many years. At the time of Zach’s death, she was 26 years old. She took the news very hard, she was hospitalized the day he died with a severe rapid heart rate and risk of cardiac arrest. They could not get her stable for quite a long time. It was a very real possibility I could lose her on the same day. I was so distraught my husband went to the hospital to be with her. I couldn’t function, my whole world had just stopped. I think we were all in shock for several weeks, I only remember bits and pieces. Kiesha has had a very hard time dealing with Zach’s death, they were very close. She has nightmares, panic attacks and fights the same mental battles as I do everyday and her health is suffering more than ever. She is now an only child, her children have lost their only uncle and they will never have any cousins. None of us will ever get to hold Zach’s children. There are so many things that will never be.
My daughter’s son Steven is 7 years old. He remembers his Uncle Zach very well. They were very close. Zach babysat him ever since he was a tiny baby and was included in all their family vacations as if he was their child. Steven is devastated. He doesn’t understand why Zach is in heaven because he wasn’t an old person. It’s not possible to explain the details to him at his age. After all this time he still talks about Uncle Zach almost daily. Steven worries about something happening to his little sisterBrooklynand is overly protective of her. He still cries a lot and you can see the strain and stress in his little face. We are noticing behavioral problems, sleep walking and nightmares. No amount of talking seems to give him any relief from his worries.
What would you like to see happen to the person who committed the crime against you?
This is a difficult question for me. Zach made a huge mistake, he is responsible for his part in this but he also has been punished in the worst way. John was one of Zach’s friends and has been a staple at our house for years. I don’t understand why this happened, neither of them were addicts and neither needed drugs to help cope with life. Maybe they were experimenting but neither of them understood the dangers of this particular drug. John has not completely been forthcoming with details of what happened and I’ve been told this did delay the investigation. I’ve learned a lot of details from detectives and others involved when I feel I should have heard it from him first. I feel that Zach was let down by many people that night because people were too scared of getting into legal trouble to get him help. I would like to see John get much needed counseling and he has expressed interest in being a counselor/advocate for teens with problems. I would like to see him commit to helping others in some way.
Merry Christmas baby!!! I know you were here with us...I felt your presence. I miss you so much especially on your favorite holiday. I really wish you were here to see Lennox Zachary's first Christmas! He is so cute and I think he has some of your quailities. Steven Jr. is turning into a very smart and respectful kid - you would be proud of him.... I know I am. Brooklyn is beautiful and crazy. I think she is alot like Aunt Linda - in a good way. You can definetly see the Davis in her. She is my princess. Your sister is still missing you very much....of course we talked about you! Grandma and Grampa Sipes were here. It was nice to spend Christmas with them. Grandma helped me cook dinner the whole day. It was awesome to spend some one on one time with her since I miss grandma Studer so much. I hope your Christmas tree and snowman stays lit for you. I hope you don't mind that I put your dad's rosery by your stone... I do truely believe that when you go to heaven you forgive everyone for their mistakes. And hopefully he is up there with you and can spend eternity with you and Kirstie. I love and miss you and Kirstie with every breath I take!!!
&& I've learned that actions usually speak louder than words... I'm trying to do the best I can every second of every day for you.. I LOVE YOU ZACHARY 0 <3 Keep watching over me.. I know you see me riding in my car everyday with your picture near and all of our favorite songs playing.. I know You feel how close I am to you everyday... There isn't a day that goes by that you still don't cross my mind.. I love you <3
Our deepest condolences. We hope that these few words from the Holy Scriptures might give you some comfort in your time of grief...
John 11:32-45
32 And so Mary, when she arrived where Jesus was and caught sight of him, fell at his feet, saying to him: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 Jesus, therefore, when he saw her weeping and the Jews that came with her weeping, groaned in the spirit and became troubled; 34 and he said: “Where have YOU laid him?” They said to him: “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus gave way to tears. 36 Therefore the Jews began to say: “See, what affection he used to have for him!” 37 But some of them said: “Was not this [man] that opened the eyes of the blind man able to prevent this one from dying?”
38 Hence Jesus, after groaning again within himself, came to the memorial tomb. It was, in fact, a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus said: “TAKE the stone away.” Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to him: “Lord, by now he must smell, for it is four days.” 40 Jesus said to her: “Did I not tell you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” 41 Therefore they took the stone away. Now Jesus raised his eyes heavenward and said: “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 True, I knew that you always hear me; but on account of the crowd standing around I spoke, in order that they might believe that you sent me forth.” 43 And when he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice: “Laz´a·rus, come on out!” 44 The [man] that had been dead came out with his feet and hands bound with wrappings, and his countenance was bound about with a cloth. Jesus said to them: “Loose him and let him go.”
45 Therefore many of the Jews that had come to Mary and that beheld what he did put faith in him;
